If we are honest with ourselves, everyone has a conversation or two that is pending that needs attention. It’s something that you’ve put in the background for a better time, a better day, or a better emotion.
Set aside time for a difficult conversation. Difficult conversations require two things. Intention and timing. It should be a time that is convenient for both parties.
Timing will influence the reception of your conversation. The intention will influence the outcome.
The intention when learning how to have a difficult conversation means starting with the phrase of the invitation to connect. A phrase like, “we need to talk” can be a trigger for someone to get on the defensive. Whereas, a phrase like, “can we spend time talking about how to better support each other?”
Most people want to have a successful outcome from a difficult conversation. They want understanding, reciprocity and an agreed way forward. Intention setting will help you get there.
Let’s discuss timing. Requesting a quick conversation at the moment you need clarity can be helpful. Sometimes, it may not, so you need to use discretion. The key with timing is to build a regular cadence of asking and giving feedback. For example, if you were playing basketball and you dribbled down the wrong way. Giving you immediate feedback is more effective than waiting until two weeks later to do it.
Waiting means there is no, or limited context, and too much time has passed. Instead, look at issues or challenges together and come up with a better decision.
Being intentional in learning how to have difficult conversations means you are planning the conversation, you are reviewing timing, and you are actively setting time aside to have the needed talk.
Avoid going into the discussion thinking you can change someone’s mind. You can only inspire them. You can only inspire them. And that inspiration comes from your thoughtful intentions.
Clear communication is a two-way street.
There’s so much more going on than what’s right here. When we become better at learning how to set aside time for a difficult conversation and how to have difficult conversations, our teams, communities, and families will all be better. Our continuous development will continue to make us better.
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