When High Performing Employees Leave
I used to believe that overworking contributed to the success. And in many ways, it does. It just depends on what your version of success is, but I also know that it can contribute to a whole lot of other things like perfectionism, anxiety, and guilt when you don’t feel like you are being productive.
I know this from personal experience. I’d still be spinning my wheels each day in the name of“work”.
If there is one thing I have learned over the years and one thing I am really proud of is the awareness I developed about what work is, and why I chose to do it in the way I did. Without this inside knowledge, I’d still be spinning my wheels each day in the name of “work”.
And when I talk about work, I am referring to career work or corporate work, but the true meaning of work includes all the varying things we do that exert effort, like washing the dishes, feeding the pets, doing laundry, taking care of aging parents, mentally planning college futures and all that jazz. That is also work.
I have always been known as someone who gets things done and I took great pride in that. Maybe you are that type of person too. Setting goals and ticking them off was not a problem. But what happened when it was time for me to “turn it off?”. I couldn’t. I’d still pride myself in relaxing, but knocking out a few calls…taking a break, writing an article, and doing some business outreach…I was on a roller coaster, but something that helped me was aware of why I did what I did, and why it made me feel guilty when I wasn’t doing anything I considered true work. I’d still be spinning my wheels “work”.
I didn’t want to be seen as lazy or unproductive even though I knew there was no way anyone would say that. I didn’t want to feel bored either because I am highly capable and qualified. I wanted to prove how smart I was, but you know what was the emotion behind all of that?
FEAR. You may be saying yeah, that is not me. I am overworking because I want to get promoted. I am overworking because my boss doesn’t know how to advocate for me. I am overworking because I do not have a choice…oh, dear reader, you do.
You do have a choice.
You feel you need to do all those things to avoid getting fired, being mislabeled, not being seen as capable and competent, not living up to your true potential, or even slacking on your purpose because you love what you do. Hang with me for a minute.
Even after becoming aware, learning to change the habits was not the easiest.
What Helped Me Make the Shift?
Working with someone who was almost the opposite of me and seeing nothing happen to him opened my eyes. I couldn’t believe it. All the things I thought would maintain respect, he didn’t worry about and they still brought him more work and more money.
Getting a coach and a counselor to go deeper into understanding my behaviors helped me build the courage to execute and change my ways.
Enlisting my family and friends by letting them know this is what I was struggling with was a critical step I needed to take. They were given permission if they saw me or heard me say something about work when I should be taking time off, or overworking to call me out on it, to remind me, and to pretty much tell me what to do. And they did, and still do.
Last, but not least was understanding the mind and body connection. When we are in vulnerable states in our physical health, our boundaries are one of the fastest to get compromised. Areas where we have been strong in saying yes or no, eating the right foods, and ending a meeting on time all get thrown into the elastic box. They get stretched and stretched and stretched and if you are not careful, they can pop!
Do This Instead
- Prepare and plan right now when you are well, how you will maintain and support your boundaries.
- Write out this plan and save it somewhere easily accessible.
- Share it with a friend or close family member for accountability.
Failing to plan is planning to fail. 2023 is the year of awareness. The path to success is not going above and beyond all the time because you can lose yourself in the process and still not be happy with the result.
And, pay attention to what you celebrate and reward. If someone around you is burning the midnight oil, don’t say great job! You are Superwoman or Superman! Instead, gently tell them the pace they are on is not sustainable.
I love to advise leaders and teams on how to keep their high-performing employees engaged with strategic leadership development. Without it, the competitive advantage walks right out the door, because what got them in won’t keep them there.
If you need leadership advisory services or know someone that does, message me today, and let’s get these workplaces engaging and healthy.
Would you like to learn more about Clear Communication Solutions? Visit the media page, or if you’d like to book a consult for private coaching, contact me today.